from my beach from my ocean

All those times I was bored
staring at the window, one flight up —
thinking on my Ex’s
and oh oh! oh~~!s

the movie sizzled
foretelling disaster
on a jungle king
scale

So I finally learned how to love
a woman
her shiny sides
her porous surfaces

but defending you
hurts in the deep country
museums of black memory
and required reading

Mercy then on Maryanne
and Ginger who repeatedly
drank life from my
“neat and funny” island

they all stood
for a featureless
empty-headed something,
Idaho, Montana, Nevada,
amnesia

Throwing a ball
thirty years ago
with young Corso
was a day of triumphant
bugling independence

dear fellow compositors
press your song
while young

there is space for grace
there is time for rhyme

You’re better than Pessoa
…much

The day before my father called
to say he was dying
he bought 10 cemetery plots
and later, asparagus

Can we bury aesthetics
and all human profiles?
the facebook. the twitter
the billy of graham?

my mind lovely sang
give me more of Barry

My grandmother was an old man,
hairy chin, deaf,
large pores on the nose
but he never required an intervention

I took my unhinged sleeve
and spent the morning waxing the furniture
an abbreviated miracle really
saintly.. elaborate
slightly painful

Waxing done I set out in search of the sublime
a dirt road leading to wind tumbled branches
by my side a rodent, flowers, weeds
and sonorous trees, unwaxed.

Coming toward me a dog
tethered on a long rope
pauses to shat in the weeds
I draw my gun
well.. ok, I only fondled it

subliminal
granite woman stooped
steaming water
galvanized bucket

I draw my breath

Last night some truck
gunned it up
Poppin’s grade
I could hear it
from home
a noise maker
owned by a large child

but oh the succulent oh’s
so conducive to
desk work and indecency

The last tree flares
from evening light
the green sky dies
she is sodden on her bed

Yesterday I drove to Oak Park
it took two hours
the evening rabbi was there
testing his mettle ahead of
nightfall

I asked if he remembered
dweeby Phillip and the girl
who rendezvoused in the shower
of kind, their kind, all kind
he said he didn’t understand
I said neither do I
and holstered my weapon

subliminal
tool shed
animal
loose boards
drunken sailor
the air with nothing to call

when you broke my
newly acquired Ming vase
I had wished to expel
you from my life
from my beach
from my ocean

but instead I shaved
and cleansed myself
of the thought
found muteness
called you my girlfriend

No, I’m not moving to Grief Street
with a new love
not talking sex and color
not stopping over to visit my blind
brother

I’m in the current
of your life
translucent
trembling
like a tall aspen
in the wind

Why you wrote DO NOT OPEN
boldface, on an envelope
was, at the time, beyond me

this lonely dreary
cherry red instruction

fuck it, when can we have cake?

this journey was never what I expected
but I persisted

the first time we entered France
you were stormy
my essence
surrounding your germ
kicked off in you
a turbulent narrative

subliminal
frigate
south station
hoop skirt
sailing
bound tits

what misery

rows of babies in plastic boxes

thank you for writing
we are happy

the path curves left now
your stroke changed everything
no more walking in the woods
just billboards at the south station

subliminal
Somalia Famine
Balkan Wars
Gays in the Military

Twenty thousand crowd at the gates —

We shoot at flying fish in the Gulf of Tonkin
each incident comes with a price
a bill, edged blue

this small island defeats me
…daily

your death was not gentle


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